If at first you don't succeed . . .

 If at first you don’t succeed . . . it’s okay.  That’s what eternity is for.

I have had to take a step back from my life on occasion and see it for what it is. 

Real.     Raw.     Imperfect. 

I am the same way.

Growing up, my favorite show was “Mary Poppins.”  She was beautiful, she dressed well and had an amazing voice.  She was “practically perfect in every way.”  Growing up, I longed to be the same.  I believed that if I gave the impression of being perfect, then the rest of my life would follow suit.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized I was being a hypocrite.

When I was in college shortly after high school, I came across a quote by President Ezra T. Benson that taught “when we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.”  It was time for me to stop striving to appear perfect and start putting God first.  I wanted everything to fall into place- or out of my life, and it did.

Within a couple of years, I found myself married to a wonderful man and we had begun our lives together.  My husband and I were both the oldest children and we were butting heads.  We needed someone else to solve our problems.  It was once again time to put God first. 

According to H. Wallace Goddard, “Marriage is full of tempests in teapots . . . over time we transform irritations into evils.  With time we come to think of our partners as disappointments or failures.”  What creeps in is pride.  Our way or no way.

If Satan can keep us focused upon ourselves and our own personal way of doing things, then he keeps us from looking up to the Lord for the guidance that we truly need to help our marriages to endure.  We need to look up and follow the counsel that He provides.  “Too often,” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminds us, “too many of us run from the very things that will bless us and save us and soothe us.”  I cannot think of a better description of marriage.

Isn’t marriage the one thing that will exalt us?  Isn’t your spouse someone who can soothe you when the storms of life are raging?  We must turn to each other for relief and support.

In “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” Dr. John Gottman reminds us how important it is to turn toward our spouse.  “Real-life romance is . . . kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of everyday life” says Gottman. 

. . . be aware of just how crucial those mini-moments are, not only to your marriage’s trust level but to its ongoing sense of romance. . . being helpful to each other will do far more for the strength and passion of your marriage than a two-week Bahamas getaway.

It’s true! 

My husband and I had the opportunity to go on a cruise to Alaska once.  Another time we went to Hawaii.  They were wonderful experiences and it was great to get away, but some of my most meaningful memories were made in the small moments. 

They’re the Sunday walks together when we would talk about life and dream about our future, the afternoons spent sitting out on the porch after a hard day working together in the yard, or cuddling together on the couch while we watched our favorite sit com.  That was life, and I loved it!

Gordon B. Hinkley reminded us that “life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”  Taking advantage of the opportunity to turn toward your spouse in the little things demonstrates your love for them.  Taking the opportunity to put the Lord first brings peace into your marriage and allows you to overlook their imperfections. 

After all, none of us is perfect, or practically perfect, for that matter.  And if at first you don’t succeed at these things, just keep trying.  That is what eternity is for.